Why We Want Things We Don’t Actually Like with Dr. Lauris Santos

Kevin sits down with Laurie Santos, a renowned Yale professor and happiness expert, to explore the science of happiness. Dr. Santos shares her journey from studying animals to addressing the mental health crisis among students, the impact of technology on well-being, and practical strategies for cultivating happiness in our daily lives. Kevin and Dr. Santos discuss the societal and psychological factors affecting our happiness, the rise of perfectionism, and strategies to counteract hedonic adaptation. Lastly, Dr. Santos emphasizes the benefits of experiencing and accepting negative emotions as part of a psychologically rich life.

Guest Bio and Links:

Dr. Laurie Santos is a Professor of Psychology and Head of Silliman College at Yale University, widely recognized for her work in cognitive science and the science of happiness. She created Yale's most popular course, Psychology and the Good Life, aimed at teaching students about making wiser choices for a happier life, which has drawn significant media attention and led to the online version, The Science of Well-Being, attracting over 4 million learners on Coursera.org. Additionally, she hosts "The Happiness Lab," a podcast exploring happiness research, with over 85 million downloads. Her achievements have earned her numerous awards and recognition as one of Popular Science Magazine’s “Brilliant 10” young minds and a “Leading Campus Celebrity” by Time Magazine.

Listeners can learn more about Dr. Laurie Santos at her website, her podcast, and on IG @lauriesantosofficial

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Resources:

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Time Smart: How to Reclaim Your Time and Live a Happier Life By Ashley Whillans

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Show Notes:

(0:00) Introduction
(1:05) DeleteMe: 20% off removing your personal info from the web
(2:25) Dram: Try the Kevin Rose Show sparkling drink sampler + 20% off everything
(4:00) Laurie explains her pivot to studying happiness
(6:25) Impact of smartphones and technology on well-being
(12:00) Neuroscientific disconnect between wanting and liking
(13:30) Overcoming misconceptions about happiness
(15:45) Laurie’s take on job crafting
(18:00) Notion: Try Notion AI for free
(19:00) NordVPN: Huge discount + 4 mo. free of Kevin’s favorite VPN
(23:15) The role of silence and mindfulness
(28:50) Technology is fueling perfectionism
(32:30) Happiness as a U-shaped curve
(34:00) Time Smart: How to Reclaim Your Time and Live a Happier Life By: Ashley Whillans
(36:00) The concept of time confetti
(39:30) Hobbies and their role in happiness
(42:10) The impact of extrinsic rewards on intrinsic motivation
(44:15) The idea of experience stretching a.k.a the hedonic treadmill
(45:25) Strategies to counteract hedonic adaptation
(57:45) How to Raise An Adult By Julie Lithgott
(59:05) How to take action when the bad days outweigh the good days
(1:02:55) The Happiness Lab